


Worn down

by wheniwrite28



Series: JenMish kisses [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, I don't know man just feeling really worn down, M/M, No Fluff, about love, and other things, jensen is sad, misha is too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 14:43:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11083740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheniwrite28/pseuds/wheniwrite28
Summary: Some times it is best to leave.





	Worn down

A mirthless chuckles, a lost sound of despair. It was the dense air of silence. It really baffled him that sound was considered as joy, take ti him then and he would tell you it hit him and made him want to crawl out of his skin. He was doing it again, agonising over something that may not even matter, maybe Misha had not really ignored him, maybe it was nothing. They were only friends, and Misha got to be himself and not entertain Jensen all the time.

Then why did it feel like someone was holding his heart in their hand and he could not breath. It was an unusual friendship and he knew it. He knew what it was. Not the whole lot of it was ever expressed or even talked about but on these days when he felt being flayed from the inside, he wanted that authority with him, to ask, to demand what was gnawing at him and at his friend. What a farce that was.

He was too anxious to be useful or even distracted, so he decided to do what he should have done the first time it happened. Go to the source and talk this out. It doesn't matter if he would be rejected, rejection was not the problem. If it was, he would never told Danneel, that was also a day.

"I knew it!" There was triumph in her eyes and in her words. My world was falling apart and rejoining in new ways that had caught me unawares. Wow, he must have really be spending a lot of time with Misha to be all poetic. He and his damn poetry. He was making these technological things, meaningful. How does one person does that. How do you become so good, so inherently good. 

He had been too quiet for Danneel, who had let him stew and just gave him a hug. They sat their with foreheads pressed together and enjoying that autumn morning, the leaves just out of the periphery of his eyes and her gentle smile. He was lost in that memory, when the door opened, he had knocked, or attempted too. He felt too fragile to be standing in front of this monumental moment, should he not feel more brave, to feel himself. Not this wobbly mess of nerves.

"Mish..." He left the nickname lingers, as his fingers did. The look on Misha's face is same as Daniel when he does this to her. How could he see this love and never really accept it before.

Misha pulls him inside, it would have been dramatic if it was raining but it was bright and not nothing though. He could see the lines of Misha, he could see the eyes, he could see all of him and someone he was lot to take in. That persona of an angel on TV and in real life. He is what he doesn't deserve. He can't. No that would be unfair.

"Mish..." Jensen begins again, He doesn't know what to say, how to say. Anything that would make more sense. No one ever accused him of having much sense though. 

"I love you, not as friend, but more," Way to be juvenile, Jensen, he internally chides himself.

Misha doesn't say anything, he realises that he hasn't since he had been here. The man looks worse for wear and he doesn't know how to work that out. Maybe he is too plagued by the same worries that Jensen has.

He walks towards him, towards the man he likes, he loves, he adores, he worships sometimes, he envies, he cares about. He pulls him in a hug. That would be comfortable. This is not about other things, not about sex, not about kiss, but of intimacy.

Misha bunches his shirt in his hands, fists so tightly bound, they stay there, He nuzzling the neck of the man, he can't deny anything. The public persona, stripped away. It is them, left. In ways they are already fucked. How do you go from here but Misha will take him or maybe they will take each other.

Who knows but he knows that the weight of Misha is solid against him and for his faults, caring was never one of them. They stay there for hours, just holding on to each other. Maybe this would be their relationship, comfort of love that envelopes them.


End file.
